Notes
This broad-ranging session covers many issues: Presence, enlightenment, meditation, sound and sounding. Inorganic Beings, non-ordinary reality, schizophrenia.

Session

Emissary:
Good morning. Are there time constraints this day?

K, DB:
No.

Emissary:
So it does not matter whether this is a long session or not?

K, DB:
No.

Emissary:
Very well. Then if you will, give us a moment more for some personal work.

[long pause here]

Emissary:
Thank you for joining with us energetically. It is a good thing. So, this morning it appears there are many things that can be addressed. Is this so?

DB:
Yes, I had questions about sounding and toning.

Emissary:
Yes, but you also have answers. Perhaps you will have plenty of time for your answers.

DB:
And also, I would like to talk about presence and what that is…being fully present.

Emissary:
Very well.

K:
And some things about the inorganic beings.

Emissary:
Very well. It is one of those large topics.

K:
One question that comes to mind is mental illness and how it does or does not relate to perception of other entities in other realities. I saw a show last night on schizophrenia and people hearing voices. I’ve been interested in that off and on. The perceptual modality there. Whether or not sometimes people are actually hearing other beings and a structure of their brain allows that to come through more easily or if it is a physically generated thing in the brain that may not be connected to other realms.

Emissary:
Perhaps you will find your answers there as well. First, we are interested in what Donna has to say on presence.

DB:
To me it is about awareness and sometimes my mind chatters and I drift along with the chatter. And sometimes it seems I just observe and the mind is very quiet. I observe not just with the eyes, but with intuition. When I can get in that space where I feel present, all my senses are receptive without the mind being engaged. And there’s an energetic feeling to it. My body may tingle, but it feels like a shift in the energy when I can tune myself to that wavelength of presence.

Emissary:
Would you say then, that one of the hallmarks of what you call presence is the absence of mind?

DB:
Yes, it’s quiet, not babbling.

Emissary:
And so, presence is not present when you are engaged in thinking?

DB:
It’s always there in the background but when I’m engaged in thinking I’m off somewhere else.

Emissary:
It sounds as though you are separating presence from the process of thinking.

K:
I find different kinds of thinking. There’s thinking with a lot of awareness when I’m trying to make a decision. Sometimes there is chaotic thinking when there are a lot of things going on at once. To me I feel more awareness in those thinking process than I do when I go to sleep and my mind starts shooting off into various avenues.

Emissary:
Is awareness and presence the same thing?

DB:
To me presence is a feeling state of being open and receptive. I love it when I get those zingers that come when I instantly have a knowing without the words. That’s what I call intuition.

K:
You have to be present so you don’t miss them.

DB:
It could be awareness But my mind seems to be aware when it is off on its chatter. To me it distinguishes itself as a feeling.

Emissary:
And your awareness, is it similar to what is being described as presence?

K:
Sometimes you can be aware of what’s going on around you and not be present in it. There are degrees of overlap. That feeling of presence may be my counterpart for what you’re saying.

Emissary:
As you are describing, are you in awareness or presence?

K:
They overlap, they join.

DB:
I can be describing and be present. And that contains awareness too. Maybe it’s just semantics.

Emissary:
Perhaps. There seems to be a qualitative difference between what you are apparently attempting to describe, presence being one quality, and awareness being another. It may be semantic, but at another level it has also to do with the understandings of the experience. So our question is, is it that you perceive presence and awareness and thinking and planning to be all separate things?

DB:
It seems to be on a spectrum. Different points on a line.

K:
Maybe facets on a crystal.

DB:
A central state that can express itself in different ways.

Emissary:
And then what is the nature of the crystal.

K:
Diamond-awareness. I don’t know. The Buddhists have a term called diamond awareness.

Emissary:
What is your guess as to what they are trying to describe with this metaphor?

K:
Total awareness and presence and alignment in time and out of time.

Emissary:
So now we have introduced time.

[laughter]

Emissary:
How does time fit in with presence and awareness?

[telephone rings]

K:
Awareness of the physical, mental, and this lifetime, and awareness of other lifetimes and other levels of my being.

Emissary:
Would reflecting on other times, other levels of being, be considered awareness or thinking?

K:
It would depend on the perception. It’s one thing to think about, “I’ve had other lives.” And another thing to feel or have a knowing for certain that you exist.

Emissary:
Can you know for certain that you exist?

DB:
I can’t.

K:
I wasn’t expressing it on that level. You’ve jumped beyond where I was.

Emissary:
It’s my job.

[laughter]

DB:
Sometimes I think that none of this exists at all. It’s like a mind trip, it has no substance.

Emissary:
Something like your thinking? So what else is left?

DB:
Just being.

Emissary:
Indeed. There is that: I think therefore I am. Are you familiar with this? Perhaps a better formulation is: I am therefore I am. Thinking is interesting part of ‘am-ness’ of being-ness.

Imagine though if presence and awareness and thinking and planning were not all different things. What if there were only one? What would that look like? What would that be like? What experience would you have in that understanding that these four apparently separate experiences, and we might throw time into the mix just for fun. If all of these things were the same things, what would that experience be like, do you think?

DB:
That might be defined as the void—from which everything exists, yet it is nothingness. That state of potential where anything is possible and everything can be done.

Emissary:
But nothing is happening?

DB:
Yes.

Emissary:
So everything is potential and being at the same time? It is all or nothing? Potential and being all at once, again no differentiation?

DB:
So there can be infinite differentiation.

Emissary:
How does this feel in your question about presence?

DB:
It seems like presence is another aspect of that.

Emissary:
Part of the infinite differentiation that is not differentiated?

DB:
That can be differentiated or not. Like presence is another flavor or color.

Emissary:
Is this your knowing of it?

DB:
I can’t say. Presence is a feeling for me and I can sit in that feeling and it’s just an experiential thing. It’s different than other things I experience.

Emissary:
Have you had the experience of enlightenment?

DB:
No.

Emissary:
How do you know?

DB:
Because there are these books written by masters that say all these things happen when you are enlightened, and those haven’t happened to me. Apparently there are properties that manifest in one’s life when that state of enlightenment comes. Maybe in that pool of potentials there is that for me. But it seems like in this time-space thinking place, enlightenment has not occurred. I think that it will occur for everyone eventually.

Emissary:
Humph.

DB:
I guess I need a vision or a sign to pass that gate into enlightenment.

Emissary:
You need some kind of confirmation?

DB:
Yes.

Emissary:
[deep sigh]. In that case you may be waiting for a long time.

[laughter]

K:
I just had this thought that enlightenment may be like something when you get to where you thought it was, it’s not there. There’s always more.

DB:
That’s what it talks about in the books on enlightenment. There are different levels.

Emissary:
Yes, we have previously discussed this in regard to the different levels. And one way to do it is to step through the levels, dig deeper into the circle, or just go straight in. And once you choose to just go straight in, you find that the levels are meaningless. So the descriptions, we would suggest, if you choose to continue along that path are perfectly fine. On the other hand, those who would be considered to be enlightened, would have a different view. Their view would be more along the lines that it is all one thing and it really does not matter. Enlightenment is a state. You think of it as presence, in which you recognize the unity of all things. The unity of ALL things. So there is no separation. As long as you are waiting for enlightenment, there is separation.

It is an interesting dilemma. We have a followed a meandering trail of definitions and differentiations to arrive at one simple point. That there is no difference between your experience of presence and the experience of thinking. You place a judgment on the thinking, judgment on the thoughts. It is not quite that way.

There is no “Ahah!” sound.

[laughter]

DB:
Yes, I judge my mind. I think it’s a matter of where I choose to be and hanging out where it feels comfortable and I find delight rather than thinking I have to get to some place.

Emissary:
And so thinking you have to get to some place, is that bad?

K:
A lot of the meditation instructions say to let go of the chatter and quiet the mind. I think we bring judgment to that by saying that mind chatter is bad. Maybe it’s not.

DB:
Sometimes it masks stuff.

K:
Like anything else, in excess it is not good. Maybe when in balance with the other facets of our mind [it’s ok].

Emissary:
Perhaps the masking [feeling] can be as fascinating and exciting as the presence feeling. It is not different. If it were possible we would toss out the instruction manuals of meditation, of enlightenment. We understand their point. We understand what they are for and why they are used. But in the final analysis, even those who have gone through the process and have reached some level of what they think of as success in obtaining enlightenment, will look back and see that it is really meaningless. It is not something that you can work through, or a process you can step through. It is simpler than that. It is simpler than that. It is just being.

Presence also is driving your vehicle. Presence is eating a hamburger. Presence is watching a tree fall. Presence is flying. Presence is all things and all times. If one were able to avoid placing judgments on experience and discriminating between what is good or bad experience, one would eventually, and we would say quite rapidly, achieve enlightenment. One would achieve a constant state of presence. There is no judgment. And that’s all there is to the meditation.

Unfortunately it is difficult to express this without in some way or another trying to make it linear enough to be experienced in linear time-space. So, that is part of the reason why there are instruction manuals. You are essentially spreading out the experience of enlightenment over a longer period of time. Once you reach the end of that period of time and you recognize that it is all one, then you recognize that all of the steps were all happening at once. And you achieved that awareness instantly. But, you see, within a linear time frame, this is not an easy thing to experience unless you can step outside of that time experience and that is also one of what people think of as the hallmark of enlightenment or satori experience, is the sense of timelessness of it.

Emissary:
So, you see the key point is removing oneself from the linearity of the unfolding of experience. And there are no manuals. There are no steps one can take to move from one to the next to the next level until you eventually reach it. It is an infinite journey, but somewhere along the way there is a spark in which the individual recognizes that there is a leap that is needed beyond the ability to write it down. And this is perhaps what you are waiting for. But even waiting is writing it down. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe the next minute. Do you see?

So I would encourage you to stick with the notion of presence. We have called that being-ness. And stop your judging. Mind is a part of beingness. The chatter is part of beingness.

DB:
The chatter does the judging.

Emissary:
Does it? What does the judging?

DB:
The beliefs.

Emissary:
What are the beliefs?

DB:
It’s part of the presence and mind…part of the big mush of everything. Or maybe it’s part of my body, like a filter. I don’t know. I guess I just lump that all in with mind.

Emissary:
That is a good place to put it. But again, we ask, what is doing the judging? This is an important, interesting part of this journey. The question ‘what is doing the judging?’ Yes. Yes.

The question of what is doing the judging is the conundrum. It is the koan.

DB:
But when I’m in the state of being or presence, the judging doesn’t seem to happen. It’s totally being. But judgment comes through the mind or the thoughts and I pop out of that state of being.

Emissary:
You separate. What is it that causes the separation in the sense of causing anything, you understand?

DB:
I say the mind.

Emissary:
Indeed. What if we were to suggest that what you are experiencing is the birth of reality itself? When you move from being present to splitting into present and mind, you are experiencing the birth of everything that is. Is that a bad thing?

DB:
No.

K:
I think it’s inherent in the process.

Emissary:
Yes, it is an inherent process from the very beginning of the creation of everything that is. In the beginning there was one thing and then there was separation and everything exists as a result. Do you see? So when you are in presence, you are the universe. And the moment there is a split the universe is created. We are speaking of universe in a very generic term. Why would that have happened in the first place?

DB:
For the experience.

Emissary:
Yes. For the experience. For the experience. It is the split. The split is an important part of why you are here. That split is experience. And it is experience that is the reason that all of this exists. So when you split in that way, you are contributing to the intelligence of all things. How can that be bad?

So, celebrate the chatter. It’s part of the experience of all things.

K:
Good! That is kind of fascinating sometimes to see when I let my mind run, where all it will go. In the space of a few seconds you can go anywhere. It’s funny. It’s incredible, the range of the mind.

Emissary:
Yes, is this a satisfying response to your question?

K, DB:
Yes.

Emissary:
Really, we would have thought it would be more frustrating?

DB:
It’s only frustrating if I try to understand it.

Emissary:
Ah! You are enlightened indeed!

DB:
I will value that reframing of thinking of chatter and separation as inherent in the birthing creation process. That’s a beautiful way of describing it. Makes me love it instead of resist it.

I felt like this has been a different energy speaking to us than the normal Emissary energy.

Emissary:
Has that changed?

K:
I agree.

DB:
It seems to have changed back to the one I’m more familiar with.

Emissary:
Humph. Interesting projection.

K:
You’re more confrontive today than you have been, in my perception of your projection.

Emissary:
Is this an observation, or do you have a question?

K:
Observation.

Emissary:
Sometimes it is important for you to find your own answers. To follow, perhaps, the line of your own thinking in order to see how the relationships intertwine. So, it is perhaps this that you are experiencing. On the other hand, there is a shift in the energy system. And we’ve spoken about this some time in the past, have we not?

DB:
We spoke about the cottony feeling within Gerry that was shifting. Experiencing the different energy shifts within Gerry.

Emissary:
Yes, but beyond that we were discussing moving to level 2. Less to do with this one than with the energy of this group. So perhaps things have changed. Question is, has Emissary changed, or have you?

K:
I don’t know that it matters. The perception of the change is noteworthy.

Emissary:
So, to sounding.

DB:
Yes. I’m starting to investigate this… and….

Emissary:
You are speaking louder.

DB:
Yes, so we can get it on the tape.

Emissary:
Very well, would you like the microphone?

DB:
No! In the Peter sessions we do sounding and I’ve been uncomfortable with it so I started reading about it to educate my mind-brain-presence-being. By making a sound with the body, the mouth, it supposedly tones the system….the energetic body and the other energies that are grounded in the body. It also vibrates the inside of the body, like massaging the internal organs. And it’s kind of fun to do. Kind of far out or weird…

Emissary:
Really?

DB:
Yes. In this culture, making sounds like that is frowned upon. And so I was wanting to see if we could talk about it from a higher perspective so I can gain more information or understanding or integrate it.

Emissary:
When you speak of a higher perspective, could you clarify a bit what your expectation is?

DB:
Looking at it in terms of the whole energy system that flows in our body, in the earth, within it all. And also from a greater understanding than I feel I have. That’s what I mean by higher perspective.

Emissary:
Greater comprehension?

DB:
Yes. Comprehension.

Emissary:
There is so much to discuss about sound that it is difficult to know where to begin since sound was at the beginning. It is a fundamental construct. It is one of the most important layers upon which your experience in basically all that is, is built. Sound. Sound is endemic to everything. Everything has sound. Everything is affected by sound. Everything in a sense is sound if you look at it from a physics point of view. Sound is energy, sound is therefore everything. But for a more practical point of view, think of your body essentially as being a bag of water. Is this…?

K:
Yes, that’s easy to do.

Emissary:
And when you play a sound near a bag of water, what happens?

DB:
The water resonates.

Emissary:
And it’s more complex than that. Depending on the shape and configuration it will make different patterns. It makes patterns. It makes patterns that form in relationship to what you think of as the container, the bag, the plastic, the skin. So when you are sounding, when you hear a sound it affects you not necessarily on a solid level. And we will speak more about this. Not necessarily on a solid level, but on a fluid level. Does this make sense to you?

And the patterns that are formed within the skin, again continuing the metaphor, creates patterns, vibrations, in direct relationship to what? The tone and what you think of as volume, which has more to do with the energy. So if you are … we are wishing Steve were here … so if one had a didgeridoo against one’s chest and there was sound coming into the chest, the body vibrates. But it is not the body, it is the fluids that are vibrating.

Your body is constructed of a large amount of fluid, more than what you think of as the solid parts. And even they are full of fluids. So the sound creates complex vibrational motions that literally flood the body and energy system with motion. Vibration. We will go one step further here and say that electrons in the body, the atoms and all of the bits of what you think of as the basic particles of matter, also are in a fluid state. So nothing is solid here. It is all fluid.

So when you make a sound what happens? The sound that you make exists not just here, but throughout your body. You speak with your whole body, which is why you point. It is not to make a point, it is that the energy of the sound points. What is that?

DB:
A sound that is not heard.

Emissary:
Exactly. Very good.

K:
If you think of light as being sound and we just perceive it as a different way, do we respond to different degrees depending on the intensity or tone?

Emissary:
Yes. Think of it also that sound is another aspect, another wavelength of light. It is one long spectrum. Light is here, sound is there. Which is why you can convert light into sound. It is more difficult to change sound into light because light is what you think of as more energetic in the sense of creating energy to create matter, etc. etc. Is more difficult to go from one to the other.

K:
Sound is closer to matter than light?

Emissary:
Yes. You can say that. That is one way of putting it.

DB:
Remember when we did the session where we practiced ringing the bell? Is that why we start our sessions with that? I’m thinking it sets the energy with that bell, that ring, that tone.

Emissary:
Yes. Let’s stay with the body for a moment and we can expand outward from there if you wish.

You express some discomfort about sounding in the beginning.

DB:
Yes, I’m inhibited.

Emissary:
We are certain you can work that one out yourself.

DB:
Get over it.

K:
I feel some of the same, but within the Tribe I feel supported. When my children sound… for youngest daughter, her first words were a little pattern: do do dah. She’s almost always singing or making up patterns. It seems to be such a natural expression for her. I’ve learned a lot from that. It’s a real expression of who she is. It helps remind me to tune into my own inner child. Maybe we all have that and it’s socialized out of us.

Emissary:
Which leads us into your discussion of schizophrenics.

K:
One of the things I saw in the show last night on schizophrenics and sound are the voices that people hear sound like they are external, coming from outside their bodies.

Emissary:
So, the little ones, the children, are quite often adept at sounding quite what you think of as normally. Perhaps part of that is because they don’t care what other people think. So if you were in the middle of a crowded plaza and began to sing, well, perhaps it would be no different. Perhaps it would. Depends on how you wish to define the experience. Perhaps everyone in the plaza would join in song. Or perhaps not. Perhaps they would wait until they get back to their cubicles and begin to hum. There is no predicting what effect it might have. It is not likely that the men in the white coats would come and drag you away for singing a song in the plaza. Do you see?

But to the body, what may be of interest and value to you is an exploration of how sound can be used to create the patterns in the body in such a way that it releases the pent-up energy flow. It is possible to do that, of course. And you can by experimentation, you’re quite well aware of the flow of energy through your body, try different sounds, different sound mechanisms, and see what effect the sounds may have on you. We would be surprised if you had not already begun to do that.

DB:
Yes, I do experiment some. I hum and send it to my brain to try to break up the patterns of rigidity.

Emissary:
Yes, perhaps even breaking up the pattern of chatter.

K:
For each individual is there a universal vibration that … I guess I’m asking about F#. Something that connects all.

DB:
Like the vibration of this realm. Like a drone or a ground for this system… that sound underneath it all. But to say that one note is it all, seems like it can’t be.

K:
I had some feelings like that, too. It seems to me that every being might have their own vibration where they are tuning the self and bringing themselves to alignment, which may or may not be F#. It might be different for everyone.

DB:
Maybe it’s both-- there’s the drone and then there is the other.

Emissary:
You took the words right out of our mouths. It is both. May we interrupt for a moment and suggest a break.

--break—

Continue to Part 2